David Ruwa Official Blog

the shade. After a short while, I felt that the shade was too cold so I moved a bit and sat in the sun. I zoned off. I was tapped and told the van had arrived and we should get in. By that time, I was extremely weak to even walk well. We all got in the school van and we were taken to Kwale district hospital....it was my first time to be there....

morning preps. The sun was out even. I felt weak. He asked what was the matter to account for me being late. I explained how I felt and he said I would have to see the doctor that day. I got off my bed, brushed my teeth and went to the secretary's office where other pupils were seated outside, waiting for the school van to take them to the hospital. I sat with them by

term which went on fast and well too. My study struggle continued as the days kept moving. Finally, third term was here. Ready or not, it had arrived. I knew I was finally in the last lap of the race, and I just needed to work a bit more, for a bit before the exams. Just a bit more, I told myself. Then this day particularly, Mr Maneno woke me up...I was late for

of the same as part of my life. I had to push and focus on where I was going. I did. Read a bit more...worked on my assignmentts in time and ecouraged myself to keep trying. By the close of term one for the April holiday, my position in the class exam results had improved. I felt encouraged and energized. I felt I was on the right track. We soon openned for the second

punishments, a lot of canning...basically in this year, a lot of shaping happened in my life and I think that was why it was necessarry for me to go through it. I made new friends, lost other friends too. Punished for not finishing my english and religion assignments, for someone speaking swahili, for being late and for failing. Now more than ever, I felt I was going back again...back to failure and acceptance

time, something was different. One of the teachers said "..we are not going to cane you anymore. This is your education, and if you want to play with it, then go ahead and fail…" I felt this. And this wa s among the factors that strengthened my turning point. A lot happened in class 8. A lot. A lot of trials and errors, failures and getting back up. A lot of unfinished assignments, a lot of

a whole year...was this perhaps the reason I wanted to sit for my kcpe the previous year? I asked myself. I was still on the journey to "my lost glory". Alone never felt this hard. Class 8, continuous assessment test 1 and I failed terribly. Terribly. This warranted serious canning and forced to write targets for the next test. Again, failure in the second continuous assessment test. This meant another serious canning. But this

for Christmas. Soon, just as I wished, it was January. I was now in class eight , then the last class of primary school. School didn't quite feel the same. Most of my friends had left the school. Some had graduated the previous year, and some had transferred to other schools. School felt quite odd. At some point I felt as though I was not ready for this. Not quite ready to sit class eight for

up very well in a big bag of anxiety....So the day came and went by pretty well, marked by a little rain making a part of the ceremony be held in the school dining hall...especially the candidates' singing part. The December holiday was usually my best holiday because of two basic reasons: it marked the end of an academic year and meant I was done with one class; secondly, it was the holiday

Time flew by a bit faster and that was okay. At the time in Kwale Tumaini Academy, graduation ceremonies used to be held before the kcpe exams. As the exams approached,so did the graduation ceremony. The day finally came and for all other pupils except the candidates, this was going to the closing day. I had a bit of mixed feelings...feelings of unsureity, insecurity,anticipated loneliness, joy of going back home, all wrapped

Perhaps to feel better, I kept telling myself that, maybe waiting for my time was really the best thing to do. That maybe I was being overconfident in myself. As the class eight students rehearsed every evening for their graduation day, these words lingered my mind: “I could have been there now”. And the only remedy was reminding myself that maybe, just maybe, waiting for my time was the best thing for me to do.

“David…maybe it is good to wait for your time…” My spirit went straight from high above, falling with great speed. I agreed and we parted ways. I felt as though Mr Maneno was not amused with his message to me. It felt like he just had to do it. It also felt like if I had pushed more, perhaps he would have been on my side and made the dream a reality. No, too late.

The two mango trees on either side of the ground were still strong then. As he talked, Mr Maneno, facing the classrooms, he walked towards the mango tree on his right. Today, as I write this to you, I feel the mango trees represented the two thoughts; the two sides: to sit the exams or not to. He talked for quite a time and clearly, he was convinced enough by the time he said bye.

I was astonished. He actually believed in me. He told me he had totally no problem with me sitting for the exams if I was ready and prepared for them. For a moment, my life took a fresh breath of air. He further continued to say that we only needed to consult my parents and we shall see how to go about it. He made a call. It was evening at the then assembly grounds.

Time was running out faster now and as we approached the end of 2008, I was sure of two things. One was that I was not prepared to remain in the school because my brother was about to finish his studies that year. Two, I was ready to sit the 2008 KCPE exams even though I was still in class seven. I approached the then school director, Mr Samuel Sawa Maneno to let him know.

I made it a point to never let anyone know about my study extensions. It was going to be between myself, the student who used to wake me up and the watchman who opened and closed the classrooms. I sought limited external help from very few then class eight students. Exams came and went but my results only changed a little, positively. I was still irrelevant. If I worked more, this irrelevance would be best.

Early morning studies and late-night study extensions. The watchman chasing me out of class to lock them at night and waiting for him to open them in the morning. That had become my life. To the point the watchman was somehow a friend, or just got used to me. Everyday, I reminded myself of where I was going and why it was so important to reach there. I figured that no one else would understand.

It was going to be a long journey. Long and lonely. But looking at the time I had between me and the Kenya Certificate of Primary Education(KCPE) examinations, I had zero alternatives. Expectations. My own and those of my teachers and family toward me. I had to get back up and reclaim ‘my lost glory’ however far it seemed. I was not at ease and I did not even have time to realize it then.

I knew well enough that I had dissociated with the top of the class students for a long wile now, to a point of even thinking to myself that they were my enemies; and that they somehow conspired my downfall. I was all alone now. No where to go and at a point of no return. Wasn’t this the reason I sought help from a senior student who was a class ahead of me? Clearly.

This  was going to be my year. I had a hard time to make the choice of standing back up; but I was not prepared to deal with the consequences of the same which now seemed harder. I had no clue on how to get around. How was I going to leave the circle that had accepted me all this time? Who would be my friends now? The top of the class? I kept wondering.

I just had to work my way through life. Life at that time to me only meant good grades, nothing more. I did. I actually asked someone who was in then class eight to wake me up every morning to read before the usual morning preps. I made a decision that my success was in my hands, and I had to do something if I was to get back again. So there I was, again...

bad about. Feeling as though all this was conspired. I knew I did not have enough time to get back up. I was no longer comfortable, neither was I happy. And since no one took pity on me, I decided to take pity on myself - what a mistake. While lost in jungle of my wrong decisions, I finally found the answer: I was not special; I needed not pity; I was being lazy, comfortable and

picked up; to be empathized...and when people do, we get a bit difficult, just so that they can try more. make us feel a bit special. I was in   this terrible state for two years now as we headed for the close of 2008. I started feeling that everybody was against me. was it bad for me to be the joker? I lost the top class positions to other students who I started feeling

I never knew how much it took to lose oneself. I also did not know that I was about to find out just soon. Two years of feeling good in failure. Two years that, among the rest, I can never forget. Teachers who once believed in me worried until they stopped caring. No one really cared. At least that is what I thought. I guess sometimes we fall ourselves down with a hope to be